Juliajoy, I don't know how you had the strength and Faith to allow him to have his freedom. I find myself so desperately anxious and needy that I don't know what to do at times. I had my worst panic anxiety attack while driving back from our counseling session today. By the grace of God alone I am able to type this. I so want to piece my marriage back together but I need to be given the chance. We have been separated 5 1/2 months after 10 years. There has never been physical abuse or adultery. Our weaknesses involve totally different childhood upbringings and bad communication which has led to, negativity, sarcasm, and? major conflicts but always have had belief in the Lord. Today he said again he needs me to prove things have changed but how can I when we are apart and when I ask what to do he doesn't have an answer for me because he doesn't have answers for himself.??? At times I wonder if there is a future for us because he is questioning and seeking God during what seems like a bit of early midlife career/job choices.
When he left I found myself unable to stay alone, difficulty in enjoying day to day life, feeling so Lost missing a part of myself. I know God must have a plan and I am not to question his timing but I just don't know what to do and what to Hope. I have even began to question my Faith am I strong enough, what can I do better, etc.
Please pray for me/us - for strength, guidance, Hope, restoration?, forgiveness, to believe in myself again.
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Dear Lord Please be with all those seeking you here today, Thank you for leading me to the FOTF family, let them all know your peace and love tonight and always.
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